It’s the end of the day in London, and Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman are wrapping up interviews for their new movie The Roses, a reimagining of the 1989 film The War of the Roses. I’m half awake — it’s early in the morning in Los Angeles — so between the three of us, we sound a little drunk or slap happy (or maybe it’s just me).
Either way, Cumberbatch and Colman are at the top of their game, finishing each other’s sentences, teasing each other endlessly, and asking me questions about my prior evening as if they wished they were there with me. Simply put, these two are a delight.
But in The Roses, they play Ivy (Colman) and Theo (Cumberbatch), a seemingly picture-perfect couple with exciting careers and great kids. Beneath the Instagram-worthy filter, however, are two fractured people who have lost their way — and their sanity. Think of it as an homage to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the movie, but neither are field operatives working for separate contract-killing firms.
In real life, Cumberbatch and Colman’s respective unions are not so explosive. Cumberbatch has been married to playwright and director Sophie Hunter since 2015, while Colman has been married to producer Ed Sinclair since 2001. (In fact, both Colman and Sinclair are producers on The Roses.)
With over three decades of marriage between them, it felt like as good a time as any to find out how they knew their partners were the One, and what they consider the key to a solid, joyous marriage. And I must say, in my many years of asking actors this question, these two had the most honest and real answers yet. Read on.
Glamour: What’s the message at the end of the film? Don’t get married? Or don’t let your relationship get so out of control?
Benedict Cumberbatch: Don’t try this at home. No, it’s about not losing sight of one another, staying in the conversation, not splitting off into corners and fermenting toxic hatred and resentment, and trying to build bridges of love. Their love is still there, and the deep hurt is caused by the idea that it isn’t.
So true. What is one fascinating thing you learned about each other while making the film?
Cumberbatch: She can fart. No, I know how special of a person she is. She lights up a room. She is unnaturally nice. She’s authentic. That’s the real gift. People get very protective and defensive and put walls up. I know I do all the time. So it’s very nice to see someone as free as her.
Olivia Colman: Ben and I have known each other for a long time, but it was nice to get to know each other properly because a lot of our meetings have been slightly boozy at a party. We’ll sit and chat, have a lovely time, but to go to work with Ben every day, who’s always energetic, always knows what he’s doing, always kind to everybody, and is the best person to sit opposite in a scene. You go to work with a friend and think, Oh my God, I hope this isn’t the end of our friendship, and it wasn’t. It made everything so much better.
Cumberbatch: Thank you.
Colman: I love you.
Olivia, you and your husband, Ed, are both producers on the film. What was that like?
Colman: It was lovely that we could be in the UK because then we weren’t away from our families. We worked five days a week, which was so nice. We’re very lucky in the UK that our hours are pretty strict, which is great. We know what time we’re going to finish every day. And that’s nice, so everyone can get home.
Cumberbatch: It makes it joyous for everyone. Massive.
Colman: In the States, the hours are so long.
Since this movie is about love and long-term marriages, how did you know that your spouses were the right one?
Colman: Well, I met Ed in the third rehearsal of a play. I walked into the room and saw his left-hand profile, and I went, Oh that’s him. I’m going to marry him.
You did not.
Colman: Yeah, I absolutely did. Thunderbolts. He was very slow on the uptake, so I had to chase him around the place, which would now be classed as stalking.
Wait, since he was slow on the uptake, how did you get him to come around?
Colman: I would love to know. My husband often gets away with a bit of a giggle and changing the subject.
Cumberbatch: Not tonight. You’re going to pin him to the wall and demand an answer.
And Benedict, how about you and Sophie?
Cumberbatch: I was smitten with Sophie 17-and-a-half years before we ended up getting married.
Really?
Cumberbatch: Before I had a serious relationship. Obviously, as a tongue-tied newbie idiot who couldn’t really… I didn’t know what to do about it. I finally figured out what to do about it 17-and-a-half years later.
How did you reconnect after 17-plus years?
Cumberbatch: We’d been friends all through that time, but really that first kind of, Oh my God, and that yearning, kind of melted into, Oh that would never happen, it was just a friendship. And then it got to a point where I was like, Maybe it could happen. I’m going to see if it could happen again. I felt confident at that stage to suggest we go for a date, and it started.
Colman: Oh, exciting.
Cumberbatch: Yeah, that’s all you’re ever going to hear, world, because the rest is private.
But you’re going to give hope to so many people that are best friends to think maybe it could happen.
Cumberbatch: Well, yeah, that’s true.
Colman: Also, I mean it comes round, so hopefully your partner does become your best friend. Ed is my best friend.
Cumberbatch: I think that’s the secret to longevity as well. It’s not just about the intensity of the love, or the romance, or all the glorious things about them, but it’s about the friendship. It’s about that person being your best friend. And knowing that men can be very slow on the uptake, is it?
Colman: I think so, but don’t be hard on yourself.
The Roses releases in cinemas Friday, August 29.
This article previously appeared on GLAMOUR US.
