Trying to find ethical porn that doesn't compromise on your personal values is tough. The mainstream sites hardly prioritise female empowerment – if anything, quite the opposite.
Often, women are degraded, virginity is fetishised, and the overall outlook is catered to the straight, cis male gaze.
But ethical porn is very different. It's paid for, which means it's safer for your device, but more importantly, it suggests that performers are treated and paid fairly. The storylines are more female-friendly, too, with any domination or submission being clearly consensual.
You might not have ever heard of it or know where to go, so we've put a handy list together to take out the guesswork. If porn sites have always been off-putting or felt taboo, ethical porn is likely to make you feel much more at ease.
These are our top places to look for a self-pleasure session that doesn't make you feel morally gross afterwards.
- What is ethical porn?
- How to spot ethical porn
- Common porn concerns
- Benefits of ethical porn
- Best ethical porn sites
What is ethical porn?
“Ethical porn is a term used to describe porn that has been produced in a way that honours consent, treats performers with respect, pays fairly, and is created within a fair, respectful, consent-aware and pleasure-aware workplace. The pleasure, consent and comfort of the performers is a number one priority,” says SheSpot's in-house sexologist and sex therapist Alice Child.
According to Child, ethical porn often aims to be more realistic. “It includes a greater range of diversity of bodies, skin-colours, age, and sexual desires and boundaries. It is often (but not always) created with female pleasure in mind, and the pleasure & communication will feel more 'true to life'. Ethical porn is therefore an attempt at making a different type of erotic film — making porn more consensual, inclusive, authentic, pleasurable, diverse and creative!"
How to spot ethical porn
Can you make sure that the adult content you're consuming really is ethically made and produced? It can sometimes be hard to determine if what you're watching is actually something you can feel good about – pun unintended. However, in 2023, a University of Sydney-led research team found that there is a pretty good tick list you can use if you're unsure.
They determined that healthy, ethical porn should include:
- A negotiation of consent onscreen
- Depictions of safe sex
- Ethical production
- A focus on pleasure for all participants
- A variety of sexual practices
- A variety of body types, genders, and races.
Common porn concerns
Speaking on common concerns that arise around porn, Anna Richards, founder of ethical porn site FrolicMe, explains, “Porn, unfortunately, has been hijacked by the free tube sites and, with it, has generated associated shame in the viewing of degrading, unregulated imagery. Large corporations have battled for traffic and, in doing so, have contributed to an increase in extreme imagery that is increasingly male-centric.”
She adds, “Women have understandably become sceptical of mainstream porn, when so much online in the mass market feels demeaning or unrealistic. Gratuitous imagery of sex and violence is more the takeaway from so much online that it can lead women in particular to feel emotionally unsafe, unseen and certainly unrepresented in the balancing of sexual pleasure.”
Unsurprisingly, this type of representation in mainstream porn is extremely damaging to expectations of sexual partners. Likewise, “Much of what is seen raises issues over consent, and abuse only helps to normalise the objectification towards women that has formed many people's opinions of porn today. More acts such as choking and aggressive behaviour are seen against women involved, yet offer no context, consent or balanced pleasure. By viewing such acts in this way only warps normal sexual behaviour and is misconstrued as acceptable in sexual activities.”
“For too long, pornography has portrayed strangulation as something safe or even normal.”
Benefits of ethical porn
“Porn can be a wonderful laboratory through which to explore your sexuality through diverse and realistic representations, while helping to teach us more about the joys of healthy sex," Anna explains.
"Ethical porn is focused on consent and mutual pleasure, left out of traditional porn scenes, while also reflecting through a broader lens than typically just the male gaze, on body shapes, sexual pleasure and realistic intimacy preferences.”
Of course, a huge benefit of ethical porn is knowing that your porn of choice is actually ethically produced, allowing you to enjoy it free from any fear of contributing to less transparent supply chains. Naturally, this awareness means viewers can engage with the content on a deeper, guilt-free level with the comfort that all involved in the making of the content are looked after and treated with respect. And isn't that sexy?
The best ethical porn sites:
Lust Cinema
Erika Lust is a filmmaker championing what it means to be creating feminist and ethical porn within the industry. Lust explores “intimacy, love, and lust in sex,” in her films, which she shoots in a considered, cinematic way. Explaining her approach to ethical adult filmmaking on her website, Lust cites fair pay, equal pleasure, diversity, transparency, safe sex environments, worker standards, fair commissions and no on-set surprises as her values that help her to “challenge mass produced mainstream pornography.” … Can we get a hell yeah in here please?
Make Love Not Porn
Make Love Not Porn is a platform that shows real sex among real people, giving us LIFE (and body confidence) for not looking as slick as the contrived porn we have all been drip-fed up to now. Their mantra? "#RealWorldSex in all its glorious, silly, beautiful, messy, reassuring humanness." Couples willingly submit videos of themselves having sex, where half of the money will go back to the stars themselves. Make Love Not Porn encourages you to support their “battle to build the Social Sex Revolution”.
The website's CEO, Cindy Gallop, explained their position to the LA Review of Books. “We are not anti-porn, because the issue isn’t porn,” she said. “|The issue is that we don’t talk about sex in the real world. Because if we did, among many other benefits, it would enable people to bring a real-world mindset when viewing what is simply artificial entertainment. So our entire mission is one thing only: talk about it. Everything we do is purely to make it easier to talk openly and honestly about sex in a public domain.”
Bellesa
At Bellesa, women can view sexual content that celebrates women as subjects of pleasure – not objects of conquest – in an unscripted, inclusive way. Bellesa is also a platform aimed at helping women understand, explore and fulfil their desires freely in a community of like-minded women, meaning they really value and respect what women have to say. And the best part? Every single Bellesa film is female-directed. FI-NALLY.
FrolicMe
FrolicMe centres on storytelling, ethics, aesthetics, and authenticity for those curious about the joys of sex. Unapologetically focused on female pleasure, lust, fantasy and desire, on FrolicMe real pleasure is prioritised over performative sex, and performers are involved in the process and concept creation. Scenes often feature real-life couples or close friends to ensure natural chemistry and genuine enjoyment. “I know my models personally, to ensure they’re working with people they trust, and that the sex feels good for them - their pleasure isn’t faked," explains founder Anna Richards.
What also sets FrolicMe apart is its commitment to supporting sexual wellbeing. In addition to lust-driven female-produced films, the platform features solo scenes, guided self-pleasure content, and sexual educational resources designed to help women and couples explore sexuality at every stage of life. It’s a holistic, sex-positive space that prioritises consent, communication, and pleasure as essential parts of personal and relational wellbeing.
JoyBear
JoyBear is a British porn site that prides itself on promoting complex, strong, interesting female characters who are respected and paid fairly – and is one of the industry OGs, since it's been around since 2003. JoyBear want us to see a “world where sex is positive and not taboo” and their platform is a safe space to explore, enjoy and most importantly have fun – removing the fear of not being perfect during one of life’s greatest pleasures. Oh, and they make sure to include “a lot of kissing” — because, honestly, that's sometimes the best part. Memberships are £25 for 30 days, or £50 for 90 days' access.
It seems all good girls have a praise kink these days. So read up on what it is and how to partake, please and thank you.
A Four Chambered Heart
If you like your porn on the artistic side (we are pleased to announce that this is a thing) then A Four Chambered Heart offers stills that are pretty enough to hang on your wall and short films which make you forget you’re even watching porn. If you’re not already busy enough with ermmm… you know, getting off to it. Its founders have a “background in analog photography and art school bullshit,” as they put it, which means their videos are beautiful. Here, you'll find interesting videos that go a little deeper, delving into thematic questions involving “technology, symbolism, mythology and alchemy.”
PinkLabel
PinkLabel can definitely be described as one of the most inclusive platforms for sexual content gracing the internet right now. Stars from the LGBTQ+ community, people with disabilities and people of colour are all a huge part of PinkLabel’s community. This website is dedicated to making porn sustainable before it is profitable. Ultimately, this means they approach filmmaking with an ethical mindset, prioritising the safety and comfort of the performers and crew. To access Pink Label all you need to do is register for free to rent, or buy films individually.
Bright Desire
Sex is about connecting, and Bright Desire values this when releasing content on its platform. Focusing mainly on realism, intimacy, connections and laughter between partners during sex, Bright Desire’s scenes feature real-life couples – meaning mutual consent and respect. “Bright Desire's aim is to move beyond the old cliches, boundaries and negativity of standard, old-style pornography and to offer something fresh, inclusive and intelligent,” they write — and that's something we can get behind. You'll find a wide array of videos here, including real-life couples, voiceover videos and artistic erotic short films and documentaries.
Dipsea
Porn doesn't have to be visual – sometimes all you need is some saucy audio to get you off, and that's where Dipsea comes in. Think of it as a sensual approach to porn. Working purely through sound, the app has hundreds sex stories for you to pick from, so you can hear the build up between those involved and the sound of them having sex. There are also stories that centre you as the protagonist (hello), in the ‘Him + You’ and ‘Her + You’ series. You can get a free trial to check this style works for you.
Afterglow
Afterglow is a newer platform that promises high quality erotica with a focus on depicting pleasure for all those involved in the footage. Afterglow aims to be your safe space for exploring your sexuality without guilt or fear. The videos on this website are made by and for women, which means female pleasure is always a priority. Plus, it means performers are always treated fairly and ethically, because, as they put it, “nothing is sexier than consent.”
Ifeelmyself
Ifeelmyself is all about female pleasure — and we're talking real female pleasure, not female pleasure as traditional porn sometimes likes to portray it. It's a platform that also allows users to share their own videos for payment. And rest assured that the performers are fully consenting and treated with respect. “We also make every effort to ensure that our contributors are comfortable and feeling positive about what they've shared,” the website's statement reads. “The women of IFM have presented themselves out of a desire to be a part of something different, something that honours their experience above all else.”
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Sssh
Sssh.com understands that good sex, especially for women, is often about sinking into a good fantasy. At this website, you'll find ethical, sex-positive indie adult videos that are inspired by real sex fantasies shared by members. It also goes beyond traditional video – you'll also find everything from narrative film to prose to auditory storytelling.
